#YesAllWomen #NotAllMen

I'm sure most of you have heard of the #YesAllWomen trend that started this past weekend due to a deeply tragic and completely senseless event that took place - Elliot Rodger killed 6 people because he's a psycho misogynistic __(enter your own expletives here)___. Some are calling this the Santa Barbara Massacre/Killing Spree. Click here for more information on the victims of this crime. This whole thing happened because he was so mad that women kept refusing to have sex with him - he was on a war against women. He even posted youtube videos saying exactly what he was going to do and why and no one took him seriously. As a result, the hashtag, which has been trending on twitter, was created to show that YES ALL WOMEN have experienced some creeper at one time or another in their lives and have been approached in an inappropriate way. Just because it didn't lead to being killed doesn't mean that it is not significant. We need to address the issues that cause the killings, not just the crazy people that take it to that level. Here's a video about just how crazy he is why this is such a big deal. He's more than a madman and it's a societal problem.

Now before you go saying but it's #NotAllMen - READ THIS ARTICLE!! It talks all about how by saying "but it's not ALL men" you're just avoiding the real issue. The main reasons the author of that article says it's not helpful to say that is because:

1. Women know it's not all men.
2. You're being defensive. When you're too busy defending your point, you're not really focusing on what the other person is actually saying.
3. You're sidetracking from the actual conversation.
4. Women can't know just by seeing you if you fall into the safe or unsafe category (unless they know you personally).

Those are the reasons saying "not all men" is not helpful. But what are ways that men CAN be helpful? Well for starters, listen when women say what creepers have done. Read those tweets at #YesAllMen. Be part of that conversation and learn how you can avoid being part of the problem. Then, after all that - TEACH YOUR SONS how to be better men so we as a society can progress and be better and treat women with more respect. 

Started reading the #YesAllWomen tweets b/c I've got a daughter, but now I see I should be reading them b/c I've got two sons.
— Albert W Dubreuil (@awdubreuil) May 25, 2014

You may be wondering why I'm so passionate about this - aside from being a woman and knowing exactly how women feel. I'm so enraged by the audacity of some men. I had to be escorted to my car today after being stalked and totally creeped out while grocery shopping. The man made inappropriate comments, tried to touch me, and stalked me to the point where I was YELLING at him to leave me the eff alone and to stay away from me. Why any man would think that this behavior is OK, is beyond me. On the one hand I wanted to shove my shopping cart straight into the guy and cause him bodily harm but on the other hand I was afraid. What if he has a weapon? What if he follows me to my car? How far can this interaction go? Thankfully I made it home safely, but the fact that I felt so unsafe and continuously had to look over my shoulder while grocery shopping is just absurd. Unfortunately it is the world we live in and it isn't a safe one. This is an important discussion because #YesAllWomen have experienced some level of this type of behavior. No, it's not all men, but you can always learn from others even if you don't think you're part of the problem. Let's all be part of the solution because this isn't a woman-only issue. It's a society issue and we all need to take responsibility, create awareness, and encourage positive changes.